House M.D. - Season 1, Episode 2

Previous page Next page >
Okay. Relax
Okay. Relax.
It's infected, with a really big hole,
It's infected,
with a really big hole,
like you stuck a nail in it to relieve the pressure
like you stuck a nail in it
to relieve the pressure.
I wouldn't do that. Although the wound is irregular
I wouldn't do that.
Although the wound
is irregular.
It's not cylindrical. It's shaped like a triangle. So, not a nail
It's not cylindrical.
It's shaped like a triangle.
So, not a nail.
Steak knife? Wife's nail file
- Steak knife?
- Wife's nail file.
Nail file
Nail file.
Yeah. Pain will make you do stupid things
Yeah. Pain will make you
do stupid things.
Something to take the edge off? Yeah
- Something to take the edge off?
- Yeah.
Cheers
Cheers.
So, you have family here in Princeton?
So, you have family here
in Princeton?
No. Here on work?
No.
Here on work?
No. Why are you-- Does your penis hurt?
- No. Why are you--
- Does your penis hurt?
No. What? Should it?
No. What?
Should it?
No. Just thought I'd toss you a really inappropriate question
No. Just thought I'd toss you
a really inappropriate question.
Your lawyer's gonna love it. Why would I want to sue you? I want you to treat me
- Your lawyer's gonna love it.
- Why would I want to sue you?
I want you to treat me.
You're from Maplewood, New Jersey, right? Yeah
- You're from Maplewood,
New Jersey, right?
- Yeah.
Now, why would you drive 70 miles
Now, why would you
drive 70 miles...
to get treatment for a condition that a nine-year-old could diagnose?
to get treatment for a condition
that a nine-year-old could diagnose?
It's the free-flowing pus that's the tip-off
It's the free-flowing pus
that's the tip-off.
I was in town. Not for family. Not for work
I was in town.
Not for family.
Not for work.
You drove 70 miles to a walk-in clinic. You passed two hospitals on the road
You drove 70 miles
to a walk-in clinic.
You passed two hospitals on the road.
Either you've got a problem with those hospitals, or they have a problem with you
Either you've got a problem
with those hospitals,
or they have a problem with you.
My guess is you've sued half the doctors in Maplewood,
My guess is you've sued
half the doctors in Maplewood,
and the rest are now refusing to help you
and the rest are now
refusing to help you.
It's ironic, isn't it? Sort of like the boy who sued wolf
It's ironic, isn't it?
Sort of like the boy who sued wolf.
You know, I bet we have a doctor here named Wolf
You know, I bet we have
a doctor here named Wolf.
How perfect would that be?
How perfect would that be?
I'm gonna page him. Okay. You know what? Thank you
- I'm gonna page him.
- Okay. You know what?
Thank you.
I'm gonna find a doctor to take care of this
I'm gonna find a doctor
to take care of this.
I didn't say I wouldn't treat you
I didn't say I wouldn't treat you.
We'll drain your knee, run some lab work. Fix you up. Why would you do that?
- We'll drain your knee,
run some lab work. Fix you up.
- Why would you do that?
I'm a people person
I'm a people person.
You actually treated him?
You actually treated him?
All I know is he sued some doctors
All I know is he sued some doctors.
Who am I to assume they didn't have it coming to them?
Who am I to assume they didn't
have it coming to them?
The cutest little tennis outfit. My God, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack
The cutest little tennis outfit.
My God, I thought I was
gonna have a heart attack.
Oh, my. Didn't see you there. That is so embarrassing. How's your hooker doing?
Oh, my. Didn't see you there.
That is so embarrassing.
How's your hooker doing?
Sweet of you to ask. Funny story
Sweet of you to ask.
Funny story.
She was gonna be hospital administrator, but just hated having to screw people like that
She was gonna be hospital
administrator, but just hated
having to screw people like that.
Heard you found her on the roof. You have very acute hearing
- Heard you found her on the roof.
- You have very acute hearing.
You notify the parents?
You notify the parents?
In due course, ofcourse
In due course, ofcourse.
And is there a paternity bet on the father of the patient?
And is there a paternity bet
on the father of the patient?
Doesn't sound like me. Well, it does, actually, but doesn't mean you're guilty
Doesn't sound like me.
Well, it does, actually,
but doesn't mean you're guilty.
You think? I saw the parents in the lobby
You think?
I saw the parents in the lobby.
Smart money's obviously on the father. My guy knows a guy who can get you in for 50 bucks
- Smart money's obviously on the father.
- My guy knows a guy who can
get you in for 50 bucks.
Fine. Tell your guy, if I win, you attend the faculty symposium, and you wear a tie
Fine. Tell your guy, if I win,
you attend the faculty symposium,
and you wear a tie.
And if I win, no clinic hours for a week
And if I win,
no clinic hours for a week.
My guy will call your guy
My guy will call your guy.
Previous page Next page >